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DUMB PRODUCT .COM
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CONSUMER RANT
Consumers: Tired of sex enhancers, drugs, herbs, homeopathic cures, fake religions, incompetent politicians, stupid celebrities, and other products, scams and people that either don’t work as promised, or don’t work at all? Welcome to
THE 10 DUMBEST PRODUCTS IN AMERICA
Educate Yourself and Beware!
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You may have seen the commercials featuring Smilin’ Bob. Why is he so happy? Why do women look at him with such awe? Well, you see, Bob took Enzyte, and he is now so well-endowed that life is just a breeze! Although their advertisements leave the impression that this product will lengthen the penis, this waste of money is nothing more than a very expensive collection of vitamins, minerals and a few herbs such as Saw Palmetto and Gingko Biloba, (both shown to have no measurable benefits when tested by reputable scientists) it does have something called Horny Goat Weed Extract, which may give the consumer a thrill if he bothers to read the ingredients label at all. The key ingredient is niacin, which can increase blood flow to many parts of the body, including the penis. Of course, thinking about everything from lingerie models to sheep would also increase the blood flow to the penis of some segment of the male
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population, and you can have sexy thoughts for free! Things have not been going so well for Smilin’ Bob lately. The owner and chief liar for Berkeley “Neutraceuticals”, Steven Warshak, was recently convicted in Federal Court of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, bank fraud, and money laundering, and could get 20 years in the slammer. Better wipe that smile off your face, Steve, you miserable fake! Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/enzyte
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6513891
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Ever get on a plane, and worry about that recirculated cabin air, and that guy 3 rows up that keeps coughing and sneezing? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could take some drug or supplement that would protect you from germs on a plane, or in an office? Keep on dreaming, because there is no supplement or drug that is going to do that for you! And it’s not like you could go to the bother of eating fruits and vegetables that might give your immune system a boost, because hey, that’s too time consuming, right? Welcome to Airborne, the latest pill for the hypochondriac on the go, and devotees of this concoction of vitamins and herbs (of course) will tell you in hushed tones that it was “invented by a teacher,” and hey, would a poor, underpaid teacher lie to you about his product? Maybe. And maybe he discovered that in today’s fast and loose,
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largely unregulated environment of supplements and miracle cures for everything from scalp itch to toenail fungus, you can lie all you want and make 100 million dollars a year in sales, which is what this “poor” teacher was doing! And if you think that some “scientific study” says that this spurious cold preventative actually works, you’re wrong again! It turns out that the study in question was sponsored and paid for by the makers of Airborne, and can’t be replicated by independent researchers. And if a test or an experiment can’t be replicated, it’s junk science! In fact, the makers of Airborne had to pay a substantial fine and stop making a claim of scientific proof of the efficacy of this trash. The latest scam by the makers of Airborne is to market this junk as an “immune system booster”, another unproven claim. These liars also are marketing a children’s version! If you want to boost your immune system, try drinking some orange juice. Consider this as well: re-circulated airplane cabin air does not put you at an increased risk of catching colds, anyway! If you really want to protect yourself, wear a surgical mask and tell people that you are Michael Jackson. That will scare most people away!
Sources: http://sciencedaily.com/
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=airborne-baloney
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Homeopathic is a word that has special meaning in the field of medicine: in Latin it means “doesn’t work”. Just kidding. Actually, Homeopathy involves putting very tiny amounts of ingredients usually regarded as toxins in your system in the hopes of curing or preventing various maladies. Isn’t that similar to a vaccination, you might ask? It might be similar, except this homeopathic “pain reliever” doesn’t actually involve putting small amounts of stuff in your body, you just roll this combination of Potassium Dichromate and White Bryony (whatever that is) on your forehead for a couple of hours, and ta-da! No more headache! Of course, you could rub an orange or a golf ball on your forehead, or even a dead rat, and the massaging action might help, or you could massage your temples with your fingers for free! But the hucksters at Headon are not content with ripping you off with just one product, they have no
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less than five versions of this spurious remedy, including “migraine relief” and “sinus headache relief” but, in what might be the ultimate in cynicism, the makers of HeadOn had a version of this trash that they planned on marketing called “children’s pain reliever”. Maybe they had a change of heart when they contemplated the prospect of children needlessly suffering when their well-meaning parents give them this junk in the hopes of easing their pain. For shame, for shame! Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/headon
http://cbsnews.com/
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SSRI is an acronym for Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors, drugs that regulate the brain’s absorption of serotonin, a substance produced by your body which may have more to do with migraine headaches than with depression. Problem is, no one knows exactly how they work. Or if they do work. It turns out that many drug trials that question whether SSRI’s are any more effective than a placebo (a sugar pill, or other non-drug substitute) have been suppressed by drug companies intent on preserving their near-monopoly and huge profits. Think about it. If you shell out big bucks for a prescription, then you probably want it to work, right? So if you want it to work, it probably will, at least for a few months, and then it doesn’t seem to work so well, and your doc, (who is usually a general practitioner with no particular psychiatric training) re-adjusts your dosage, which helps for a month or two, and then the pills don’t seem to do much of anything except cause
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liver damage. This is identical to the effect of placebos, except sugar pills don’t cause liver damage! Since many people recover from relatively minor depression with or without drug therapy, and since these drugs are prescribed in many cases by under-educated doctors when drug treatment is not indicated, it looks like the SSRI’s get much credit that is not deserved. Meanwhile, in one study of the drug studies, done by a university researcher, only 51% of FDA-reviewed studies show anything more than slight improvement in depressed patients using SSRI’s, while 94% of studies that the drug companies allowed to be published showed a credible improvement in patients’ depression. And never mind that these drugs may bring on suicidal or violent impulses in teens. So what’s the alternative? Remember talk therapy, where you go in and talk to a psychiatrist for 50 minutes and he or she tries to help you figure out what has you depressed and how to deal with it? An excellent idea, except these days, the cost of any specialist’s time is sky high, so unless you have gold-plated insurance coverage or lots of money to spend on therapy, it ain’t gonna happen! So what happens in most cases is that the psychiatrist, with mountains of training in therapy becomes nothing more than a prescription writer, with most of his or her training wasted, and the patient is left with gambling on a lesser trained counselor to do the actual therapy. These counselors are usually psychologists, who may have only a bachelor’s degree in psychology, or even less training than that. If you are lucky, this poser may do you more good than harm. In most states, anyone can rent an office and put up a sign that says “counselor”. You can call yourself a spiritual counselor, or guru, or Grand Poobah at the Temple of Skittles, and the state or county officials where you have your business won’t bother you about certification issues concerning anything remotely related to religious counseling, since they don’t need the expense and time wasted on lawsuits. So what’s left? You might try exercise, getting more sleep at night, drinking less alcohol, meditation, or adopting a dog or cat. All of these things have been shown to help minor depression, and that’s one less drug percolating through your liver! Sources:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/17/health/17depress.html?
http://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20020710/are-antidepressants-effective
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Aspartame is made by combining a couple of amino acids, which produces a chemical estimated to be 200 times as sweet as sugar. Paradoxically, when combined with beverages or food in an effort to make them sweeter, it is a miserable failure. But that’s the good news. The bad news is that this chemical, (actually a drug which was marketed as a “sweetener” by Searle, the drug company that invented it), was rejected time and time again over the course of 15 years by the Food and Drug Administration. Was it rejected because Searle was trying to sell a drug disguised as a sweetener? Nah. The FDA rejected it because tests linked the drug to cancer and brain tumors, and is especially dangerous to children! In fact, aspartame breaks down in the body and becomes formaldehyde and methanol,
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both known carcinogens (cancer causing substances). So why did the FDA finally cave in, and allow this dangerous chemical that has never existed in the natural world to be added to food and drink? We can thank Donald Rumsfeld for that, who was “acquired” by Searle, and whose political connections no doubt helped smooth the approval process. In what must be the most sublime joke of all concerning this scam, it turns out that aspartame is also addictive, and causes obesity! So, millions of trusting, overweight people are quaffing this chemical brew in the hopes of losing weight, and getting fatter for their trouble! Is that funny or sad? You decide. Sources:
http://www.dorway.com/tldaddic.html
http://www.ehponline.org/docs/2005/8711/abstract.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/aspartame
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